i don't want to be fixed, i want to be understood

I talk a lot about healing and moving on from your past. And I talk a lot about fixing yourself from your past experiences. Honestly, I don't really think it's about healing yourself. Sometimes I think I just want someone to understand me. For someone to understand me without trying to fix me or help me. For someone just to sit, listen, and understand.

Honestly compared to before, I'm doing a lot better. My head feels more clear about life and I feel less scared about everything that's happening around me. But regardless of that, I still cling onto the idea of being understood by one person. I don't need to be understood by everyone, I just need one.

I think a lot of people who struggle have this need for one person to understand them. It's not about the reassurance that there's nothing wrong with us. I don't even think it has to do with it meaning someone will stay. For me it's about having someone who can look at you, understand why you are the way you are, and say it's okay.

I don't want to always feel like people think I'm something that needs to be fixed. I don't want to feel like every time I tell my story it changes how people see me. It feels like I'm just a fragile piece of glass.

I don't want to constantly feel like my emotions are problems that need solutions. I don't want every difficult feeling to immediately become something that needs to be corrected. Sometimes I don't even know how to explain what I'm feeling. Sometimes I just know that something hurts, and trying to turn that hurt into a lesson before I've even had the chance to feel it only makes me feel more alone.

I think that's what I mean when I say I want to be understood.

I want someone to look at me and I feel like it's okay to just be me.